Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede
by kirbybringsdemise66
Summary: Kirby, you know him, you love him...or so you thought. In this twisted story, see the uprising of Kirby as a serial killer with his two hostages, Meta Knight, and Dedede. After Meta Knight realizes the rating of their world has changed and Marx makes Tiff and Tuff forget about Kirby, Palkia shows up injured. Kirby goes to the other game worlds and decides to fuse them together...
1. Kirby's talking YAAAAY!

**WARNING! THIS IS GOING TO BUTCHER THE GAMING WORLDS! IF YOU'RE A HARDCORE VIDEO GAME FAN AND CAN'T TAKE A JOKE THEN THIS WILL OFFEND YOU! I DON'T WANT ANY OF THESE IDIOTIC COMMENTS TELLING ME THAT THIS STORY HAD SOMETHING WRONG IN IT! THIS ALSO CONTAINS ELEMENTS FROM THE KIRBY ANIME! THIS WILL OFFEND YOU IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE! THIS CONTAINS VERY DARK HUMOR. IF YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF DARK HUMOR THEN KINDLY LEAVE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH PEOPLE TRYING TO GET ME TO UPLOAD THIS AS IT IS! SO, IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE JOKES LEAVE! THIS IS A CROSSOVER BETWEEN KIRBY, LEGEND OF ZELDA, MARIO, POKEMON, AND FINAL FANTASY. THE CHARACTERS ARE KIRBY, META KNIGHT, DEDEDE. TIFF, TUFF, MARX, YOSHI, LINK, ZELDA, GANONDORF, PALKIA, DIALGA, AND MOOGLE. ( btw Tiff and Tuff are both 12 when this takes place)**

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**Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede**

"POYO! POYO!" Kirby yelled. "Yes Kirby, I see you can eat with a fork now. That's fantastic." Tiff said picking at her food. Kirby scowled at her and went back to eating. It had been a full year since they had destroyed Nightmare Enterprises and everything was quiet in Pop Star. One day, Kirby, Tiff and Tuff received a letter from King Dedede. It was an invitation inviting Kirby to come to the castle and learn to speak properly with the help of King Dedede's new invention. This invention had a portable form and a castle addition.

"It's obviously a trap. There's no way Dedede would really let Kirby talk. He wants to capture him." Tiff said. Kirby had already made his decision though and was running to Dedede's castle. Tiff and Tuff ran after and Dedede was already waiting for them smiling at the door. "What're you up to you?" Tiff asked. Dedede shrugged. "I don't know. Here's a question for you now. Why are YOU always such a little BITCH!?" Tiff shut her mouth and Kirby laughed at Dedede's comment.

Dedede led them through the castle and they arrived at the room where Dedede ordered the demon beast. "Right this way." Dedede said shoving Kirby on the ground. "Kirby, watch your step." Escargoon said putting Kirby onto the machine. "Alright, Prepare to meet the full walkin talkin Kirby." Dedede said flipping the switch. However, Kirby wasn't zapped. Instead, a program came onto the television. "Losing weight for FAT SLOBS!" Everyone roared with laughter.

"SHUT UP! I'm not fat." Dedede took out his hammer and whacked the television breaking it. "I"M NOT FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT T!" Dedede screamed. "DEDEDE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Meta Knight yelled entering he room with Sword and Blade. "Who says it? Am I ranked obese by the Fat Company of Dreamland?" "No-" THEN SHUT UP!" Dedede flipped a different switch and an electric blast came down from the machine and Kirby was zapped.

When Kirby stepped from the machine. "Kirby, say something." Meta Knight. "I can... talk." Kirby said looking at himself in a mirror. "Yes and birds can fly. Thanks for telling us Kirby. I don't think we would've figured that out without your help." Meta Knight said rolling his eyes. A spanish guitar began to play. "What was that?" Kirby asked. "What was what?" Meta Knight replied. "I just heard a guitar." "No you didn't." "Meta Knight, I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?" Blade asked.

"Let me guess. I'm paying for it again, right? Meta Knight asked. His two apprentices nodded. "If you eat too much you'll end up like Dedede. So, remember that." the knight said pushing them out. "What do you want to do first, Kirby?" Tuff asked. "I'm so happy you can talk now, Kirby." "Thanks." "I mean it." Tiff wrapped Kirby into her arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek as she always did.

"Hey Chef Barf-up-a-lung. We want to eat!" Meta Knight shouted. "For the 1000th time, its Kawasaki!" The chef replied. "That is what i said." Meta Knight replied. The chef was silent for a while. "Listen, are you gonna take off your fuckin mask, or not?" Kawasaki asked. "I was thinking about it. But, since a bitch crawled out through your lips I'll just get it to go." "So, whip up that chicken." Blade Knight said. "No! I want maccaroni and cheese!" Sword Knight shouted back. Meta Knight was now annoyed though no one knew it because he always wore a blank expression on his mask. I mean, look at it. You never know if he is happy or sad. What was he thinking when he made it? "That's enough from the narrator." Meta Knight shouted.

Kawasaki had left the room and went to prepare the meal that was assigned to him by Meta Knight, while Sword and Blade were in the bathroom. Suddenly, a big explosion was heard from the outside. The knight turned his head to see one that was supposedly long dead. "It's MOTHER FUCKER MARX!" Meta Knight shouted out loud.


	2. Marx's Return

**The First chapter was supposed to be a light-hearted start. The rest of this story is mainly serious. Everything after this is story is comedy but this one isn't**

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**Chapter 2: Marx's return**

Marx was lying face down on the ground when Meta Knight, Sword, and Blade approached. "Is he destroyed?" Blade asked. "Should we poke him?" Sword asked. "Should we stop asking stupid questions? Yes, I think that's a very good idea." Meta knight replied. Kirby, Tiff, and Tuff came walking down the hill but stopped at the side of Marx. "What's he doing here?" Kirby asked panicked. "He's not moving." Sword said. "Get rid of him. He tried to take control of the planet." Kirby warned. "Ah, he's too cute to try anything like that." Tiff nodded in agreement. "Looks can be deceiving, you know." Kirby warned. "Meta Knight, your food is done!" Kawasaki yelled from the restaurant. "We have to go. You kids stay here with this monster that tried to take over the world. Bye!" Meta Knight said turning away.

"THANKS, PRICK!" Kirby yelled as he watched the knights leave. "Kirby, that's an awful word! Where did you hear that?" "It was on T.V. And it wasn't that crappy channel Dedede shit either. It was actual television." "We've never had actual television. What's going on?" Tuff asked. Marx's eyes opened up after he said this. "Hello there." He said standing up. Kirby forced himself in front of his two friends to protect them. "What's wrong?" Marx asked. "You know what's wrong, Marx. Even if you put on this show. I know what the hell you are." "Kirby! You're being ridiculous." Tuff yelled shoving Kirby on the ground into a mud puddle. The puff-ball stood up and stared at the three as they got acquainted with one another. "Come on Marx. We'll show you around town. Marx turned his head and gave a sneer at Kirby as the three of them walked away. Kirby wiped all the mud off of his head. "They-they just left me. After everything we've been through. They shoved me in the mud and just... walked away."

"It's alright little one." Mabel said hugging Kirby when he told her what had happened. "Can we go look at the crystal ball?" Kirby asked. "Sure, Kirby." Mabel said taking his hand. Both of them went into the room which had the crystal ball. Although Mabel said she wasn't psychic, it was actually a lie to prevent outsiders from discovering her abilities, for she never liked attention. The two of them stared at the crystal ball and waited for a vision to come through as Mabel chanted. Eventually, they saw Kirby with massive scars under and on the side of both of his eyes and one massive going down the right side of his face. Behind him, Meta Knight and Dedede stood. The three of them were looking confidently off into the distance. "It looks like you'll get some new friends, Kirby. But, those scars on your head are a mystery. We can't be cut open in this world." "I don't know. But, I have to go. Thanks Mabel." The puff-ball said exiting the hut. "He's such a good kid." Mabel muttered watching Kirby leave.

Kirby walked ahead. He had a bad feeling in his chest about Tiff and Tuff. As he went up to Dedede's castle, Marx jumped out and tried to strike him. "Where's Tiff and Tuff." "Looking for me most likely. I snuck off in search of you because I thought you'd like to know my plan." "Why would you just tell-" "That's not very important. I'm going to steal the two people you care about the most away from you, for you stole what I cared about the most away from me." "What're you talking about?" "The wish, dumbass. You stole the one thing I wanted most from me, the control of Pop Star." "You have the two people who you love. So, the revenge is to steal them from you so you'll know exactly how I felt!" "You're an asshole! Those two will never fall for this trick!" Marx laughed evilly. "It's too late for that Kirby. They've already fallen for it. THEY PUSHED YOU IN THE MUD TO STOP YOU FROM ATTACKING ME WITH WORDS! IMAGINE WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF YOU ATTACK ME WITH YOUR FIST!" "We'll find out." Kirby replied lunging at Marx with a powerful kick.

A red liquid exploded from Marx's face and he fell to the ground. "What's this? He asked eying it. Kirby, although puzzled, didn't stop his attack on Marx. He continued to kick him in the face when a force tugged on his arm. He turned to see Tiff who smacked him in the face causing him to drop to the ground. Kirby looked up with tears in his eyes. "What're you doing, Kirby?" Tiff yelled. Kirby didn't say anything but let his tears fall from his big eyes. "Tuff went over to Marx and got his hands in the red liquid. "I hope you feel good, Kirby. You really hurt him." He said. "What is this stuff anyway?"

"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?" Meta Knight asked when he, himself, was asked about the red liquid. "We just thought you would know is all." Tiff said. "I can't solve all the world's problems. I'm not God." The knight replied."What exactly happened?" "Kirby attacked Marx and hurt him." Tuff answered. "Kirby has been acting like a complete jerk, Meta Knight. He has only seen Marx twice and he has already attacked him. I'm thinking of avoiding him from now on." Tiff said.

Marx, who was on the other side at the wall, laughed to himself. "I win Kirby, I win." He whispered.


	3. The Deaths of the three followers

**Ch 3: The deaths of Escargoon, Sword, and Blade**

Tiff, Tuff, and Marx left. "You can come out now. I knew you were there the whole time." Meta Knight said. Kirby entered the room and fell into Meta knight's arms crying which shocked the knight. "Why is this happening, Meta Knight? Marx is stealing them from me." "I can't destroy Marx without Dedede's approval. You and I both know he'll never give that. If you want Marx gone, you'll have to do it yourself. I can't interfere." "We could attack him together. We could finish him together." "Marx is powerful enough to last a long time against both of us. Dedede would see it. It would be heard. This is your fight. Either you stand up for yourself and defend your honor with the powers you used to beat him before, or you'll let this consume your mind so much, you'll do anything to see him perish. Even use the darkness your feeling as an ally. Don't let that happen, Kirby. You're a great little star warrior. You fight for what is good, not what is evil. That's all I can tell you, right now." Kirby nodded and wiped his tears away. "I'll try." he said leaving.

Meta Knight went back to Sword and Blade who were still fighting about which food they liked better. "It doesn't matter what you like. WE GOT CHICKEN!" Blade yelled. "You two are really starting to piss me off." Meta Knight said. "Here, open the bag. What's in it?" The two knights opened the bag. "CARROTS!" They both yelled at the same time. "Yes, I wanted carrots. So, I, Meta Knight, decided to do something for me for once. In fact, FUCK YOU TWO! I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP!" Meta Knight took out Galaxia and swung it chopping the two knights in half with one swing. The same red stuff which came from Marx came out of the two knight's bodies as they slumped over. Meta Knight observed it and the bodies. "Something's changing. I must figure out what is going on." Meta Knight leaped out of his window.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAMMER IS MISSING? Escargoon, you slimey ball of fail, I paid two cents for that thing. I ACTUALLY PAID FOR IT! FIND IT NOW! IF HAMMY ISN'T BACK HERE IN THREE HOURS, I'MMA GO ALL KINGLY ON YO ASS!" Dedede shouted. "What're you talking about?" Escargoon asked. "THREE HOURS!" Dedede repeated.

Kirby walked through the darkness of the woods carrying Hammy on his back. "Marx has no idea what is about to happen to him." Kirby muttered.

It's been 3 hours. Where's Hammy? Dedede asked. "Lost." Escargoon replied. "It's time for you to FEEL MY WRATH!" Dedede yelled. "What're you going to do to me? The snail asked. "Something horrifying." "Oh no." "I'm going to flatten you." "This can't be happening." "You won't even be able to move." "Please, don't do this!" Escargoon begged. Dedede, although he is stupid, got the meanings of these statements and pushed Escargoon out of the window where he dropped several stories to the ground. "That'll teach you to lose Hammy." Dedede said not realizing what he had done.


	4. Kirby's fall and the Discovery of Palkia

**Ch 4: Kirby's Fall and the discovery of Palkia**

Kirby traveled deeper and deeper into the wood with Dedede's hammer on his back. His plan was to go far into the woods and get stronger, for he knew that if Marx had returned now, it meant that he was more powerful than he'd ever been before. As the puff-ball walked along he caught sight of kids playing games. "Look at them. It's not fair. I've done nothing but good for this world and I've been repaid with nothing but pain. IT'S NOT FAIR! IF I'M NOT ALOUD TO BE HAPPY, WHY SHOULD THEY? Those kids haven't saved this pathetic planet. Why am I the one to suffer? Well, not anymore. If I can't be happy, no one else is allowed to be either." Kirby said to himself watching the kids and the nearby mother.

Kirby became so filled with rage that he could no longer contain it. His hands clasped Dedede's hammer and raised it back. The puff-ball hurled it. "MY BABY!" A woman shouted. The child had slumped over. Kirby gave a sneer. "That's it. In order to make other feel the pain I've felt, I will take away what matters most to them: Their loved ones. Kirby went over and retrieved Dedede's hammer. The puff-ball slaughtered everyone there knowing he would cause pain to others in the world somewhere. "That felt great." Kirby said inhaling a severed hand. "I don't need Tiff. I don't need Tuff. I don't need anyone. I can fight my own battles. I don't need Tiff telling me when to inhale. I don't need Tiff calling the warp star. I can do all that shit myself. I'm my own person.

Suddenly, a ripple appeared and wierd, dragon like creature appeared from the ripple with the same red liquid covering its body. Kirby held up the hammer in defense until he realized that the creature was injured. "I'm Kirby. I want to know what you're running from. The beast gave a loud cry. "That's not helping me, sir. Talk!" The creature gave a loud cry again. "Can't talk, huh. I'll fix that. I just got to get inside Dedede's castle. All of my questions will be answered you piss ant."

"That's bull!" Dedede shouted. "It is my theory." Meta Knight said. "So you're telling me our ability to not kill others was transferred to another world and now we can kill and they can't?" "Yes." "That's bull! Which universe even has our ability?" Dedede asked. "I'm not sure."

(Meanwhile, at the Call of Duty universe) "WHY ISN'T ANYBODY DIEING?" "I DON'T KNOW!

Kirby entered the castle through the hallways. "Hey Kirby! How does talkin feel?" "Marx is back. He's tearing me apart." Kirby said. "Have you thought about what I said?" Meta Knight asked. "Yes. I'm trying. Dedede, you left this outside." Kirby lied handing Dedede his hammer. "HAMMY! Did you miss daddy. Daddy loves you to. How could I ever repay you, Kirby?" "Give me the talking zapper for a few hours." Dedede did this and Kirby left. "He's so sweet." Dedede said. "I don't know. Something was different. I felt a different presence around him. Something is definitely out of place." Meta Knight said.

Kirby went over to Palkia and zapped him with the device allowing him to talk. "Name, now!" Kirby demanded. "Palkia." It replied. "How did you teleport us here?" "I have the power to control space and teleport between the worlds. I used to have complete control over every world until Dialga injured me. All I wanted was some coffee, you prick!" "Who were you talking too?" "No one. After I was injured, I lost control over my realm and the ratings of your world and the world of Call of Duty have been swapped. I'm here to fix that." "Ratings?" "E and M" E stands for everyone and M stands for mature. Your universe now has the mature rating while the Call of Duty universe has the everyone rating. It won't take long, once I recover, to fix it." Kirby then inhaled a rusty sword and became Sword Kirby and stabbed Palkia in the shoulder which caused more red stuff to pour out. "What's the big idea?" Palkia asked. "I don't want the worlds returning to normal. I like killing. I like ripping peace from others. I like FEAR." "Palkia's wound opened up and more red stuff came out.

"What is that shit anyway?" "Blood. It flows throughout all life. Your universe could never cut the flesh off until now." "You have 2 choices, Palkia. 1: You become a slave to me. 2: You become fertilizer for this lovely grass. The choice is yours." Palkia sighed and agreed to Kirby's request. "You said you could travel to other universes. Take me to them. I want to see them for myself. "Fine." Palkia said. Kirby began to laugh and laugh.


	5. Call of Duty: Modern Technology

**Ch 5: Call of Duty: The home of modern technology**

Kirby and Palkia arrived in a city which was crumbling. "Where are we?" Kirby growled. "This is the universe which you switched ratings with. This is a war zone. This is Call of Duty." Palkia replied. "This place sucks." "Tell me about it. This universe should've died years ago. But, since people from the head world are fuckin idiots, they keep buying the shitty games that this universe brings to them." "Did you say "head world?" "Yes, the head world is why we exist. They wrote us into existence and it is the reason we breathe. The place is inhabited by humans and no strange beings like the two of us. Even though we are much stronger, we don't invade out of respect." "Take me there. I want to see this place myself."

"Negative. It takes too much power for me to go there. I'm not healed enough yet." Kirby surveyed the area and then turned back to Palkia. "What weapons does this universe have?" "Technology of the head world. Guns, atom bombs, mines, fighter jets, and knives just to name a few. But, they no longer can kill because of the rating switch. I don't feel bad for them. They've had nine fucking opportunities as of saying this to get a game right. They haven't yet." "So, if this technology were to be taken to a different universe, the effects of it could be felt at their original effects, right?" "i guess so. This is the first time something like this has ever happened." "Can you stand?" "Not yet." "Good. I'm going to steal some of this technology for myself. There is something I'm going to do." "Whatever."

Kirby darted off into the city and found a dead person with a knife and pistol at his side. "These will do." Kirby said lifting the items and inhaling them. "I'll use these when the time is right." A tiny streak of yellow energy came at Kirby who dodged it. A soldier had a pretty good sized gun in his hand and shot it. Kirby quickly inhaled some nearby stones and transformed into STONE KIRBY. "Let's dance." He said in his new form. More blast were fired and Kirby retreated into a boulder shielding himself. Kirby watched as he put the gun on his back and pulled out a big thing with a rocket on the end. "What the hell is that?" Kirby asked. Kirby unstoned himself and upchucked the pistol.

"This may suck ass in your universe but in my hand, it's deadly. Kirby fired a tiny blast of yellow energy which struck the soldier but didn't seem to affect him. "FUCK...THIS...UNIVERSE!" Kirby shouted as the soldier blasted the rocket which missed Kirby. "What?" The soldier asked. "In rated E games, rocket launchers never succeed." The puff- ball laughed jumping over him and changed into an anville and crushed his head causing him to fall with two "X's" over his eyes. Kirby inhaled the rocket launcher and dropped his ability.

The puff-ball came upon a strange looking device with a countdown that was ticking. "That must be the bomb" He said inhaling it. Kirby didn't change into BOMB KIRBY for it wasn't the bombs from his universe. The puff-ball continued his journey until he collected 100,000 bombs, 700 grenades, 500 rocket launchers, 10 knives, and 200,000 guns which were all contained in his stomach. He then returned to Palkia who was in a pink glowing sphere. "Get out of there, Palkia. We're moving on." The space diety exited his sphere and looked a little more healed."Where to next?" He asked. "Take me back to Cappy Town. "There are two others who I know would just love to assist in my quest." "Palkia nodded and a sphere enveloped them which teleported them back to Pop Star.

"Come on, Meta Knight!" Dedede urged. "NO! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! I'm not taking off my mask." The knight shouted angrily. "But I'm the king." "I don't care. You rot in Hell and i'm going to go to sleep.,,, WITH THE DOOR LOCKED!" "Damn it." Dedede said. "I guess I'm getting kinda sleepy too. Meta Knight and King Dedede both went to sleep in opposite ends of castle Dedede. Meta Knight was reclining when Kirby entered the room with a pistol. "Meta Knight." He said innocently. The Knight rolled over and saw the puff-ball and that a strange object he'd never seen before was pointed right at his head.

"What's that?" He asked. "Get the fuck up." Kirby commanded. "What?" "GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF BED YOU LAZY SACK OF SHIT MIXED WITH A PARROT'S DRIED GUTS!" "That's... lovely." Kirby fired the pistol which pierced Meta Knight's armor and struck his arm. "OW! ASS!" Kirby shook his head. "TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, META KNIGHT! I WILL SHOOT YOU!" "What is that thing anyway?" "This is gun. If you ever see one, STOP! DON'T TOUCH. LEAVE THE AREA, TELL AN ADULT." "What the fuck was that song you just sang?" WHAT THE FUCK SONG DOES YOUR SPAINISH GUITRIST PLAY?" "My what?" "Give me a minute." Kirby commanded walking off frame and murdering the guy who plays the spainish guitar when Meta Knight walks on to the screen."That's lovely."

"Do you want to die?" "Not really?" "Then you are my slave, Meta Knight. Your going to do EXACTLY what I tell you, EXACTLY when I say it." Meta Knight stared blankley at Kirby. "What will you have me do?" "Simple." Kirby spat out the 100,000 bombs. "You're going to set these all over Pop Star and wire them for 2 hours. So, in 2 hours, the planet goes kablooey." "And if I refuse?" Kirby shot the gun at the ceiling and kicked the knight over planting a bomb on his back and a tracker. "This will keep track of your location. If those bombs aren't wired in an hour I'm going to press this button right here, and YOUR GUTS WILL BE ALL OVER CAPPY TOWN GETTING MUNCHED ON BY EVERY SQUIRREL, WORM, AND, COCKROACH ON THE GROUND! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" "Yes." Meta Knight responded. "Good. Your time starts now. I see you and Dedede are pretty close. Don't worry. He'll join us soon."


	6. Dreamland goes BOOM!

**Ch 6: Dream Land goes BOOM!**

Dedede lie asleep in his bed and he was having a dream about delicious food... again. Kirby raised the pistol and leaped on top of his chest. "Fat ass, wake up." Kirby said. Dedede didn't move. "WAKE UP!" Still nothing happened. Kirby was now getting frustrated and the murderer went into the kitchen and baked a turkey which cooked for 50 minutes. The oven beeped and Dedede jumped out of the bed and went to the kitchen. "Whose got turkey?" He shouted. Kirby turned. "I do. I also have a free appetizer of PAIN!" He yelled leaping on the king and pointing the gun at his face.

"Isn't this quite the switch?" I went from taking abuse to giving it. Talk about role reversal" "Hi Kirby." Dedede said. "I'm pointing a gun at your face and the only thing you have to say is "Hi"? FUCK YOU!" "How is that gonna work?" "OH you're as stupid as the critic 3!" "Who the hell is that?" "Just some asshole. We'll talk about him after the chapter." "Chapter?" Kirby shot Dedede in the hand. "OW. MY FOOT!" The king screamed. Kirby slapped himself in the face and picked up a communicator. "Come in, Meta Knight." He said. "Kirby, call me Captain Giga-Bob over a communicator, please?" Meta Knight replied. "...WHAT?" Kirby shouted in reply.

"Pleeaaase?" "Fine... Captain Giga-Bob , come in." "This is Captain Giga-Bob. How may I help you?" "Are those bombs wired?" "Every one." How did you expect me to get all the way across the planet in one hour, anyway? Don't even ask how I did it." "Meta Knight, have you ever heard of plot convenience?" "CAPTAIN...GIGA-BOB..." "Whatever, just answer the question before I blow your 6 jumping, cheap ass out of the sky." "No..." "That's how. Dedede here is about to do another job for me. Your next task is to go and ready the Halberd for takeoff. If that's not done in 30 minutes I'll blow you, understand?" "That's really frightening." "I know." "You'd probably give pretty good blowjobs though." "I will fucking kill you. Do you hear me. If one more sex reference is made in this chapter, I will cut you in half. This is supposed to be the serious story before the funny shit happens."

"This is funny." Dedede said. "I'm not asking you..." "I don't care." Kirby slapped Dedede with the gun and planted a bomb and tracker on his chest. "Okay, you're going to-" "WAIT! WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!" Dedede interrupted. "I'm going to run into a building, explode, and have sex with 72 virgins." "...WHAT THE FUCK?" Kirby shouted angrily. "Is that not right?" "NO! I need you to kidnap Tiff and Tuff and bring them to me. I want them tied up and alive. Do you hear me?" "I feel you, bro." "We are not "bros". Certainly not yet. If they aren't brought to me in 20 minutes YOU will go kablooey along with this pathetic planet." Kirby walked out and Dedede went to complete the mission.

Kirby marched off towards Meta Knight's tracker when Mabel jumped out in front of him. "I'll give you three seconds, bitch." He muttered. "I-I just had a terrible vision about you." "Its too late , Mabel. I've got bombs scattered all over Pop Star and there is nothing you can do to stop me. It doesn't take the Ghost Whisperer to figure that out. "It's already happened. Tiff and tuff are dead." "They will be. But, I'll relieve you of the explosion and finish you now." Suddenly, purple energy transformed into Palkia who was behind Kirby. His hands were surrounded by pink energy. "SPACIAL REND!" He shouted hurling it at Mabel who was smacked and flew against a nearby tree.

"Nice shot." Kirby said. "It didn't kill her but I just wanted to test it out. I feel a lot better now." "Pick her up and come with me." The dragon picked Mabel and followed Kirby to Meta knight's location. "How's it coming?" "Pretty good. She's about ready for take off." Dedede came strolling in with Tiff and Tuff wrapped in rope and tossed them on the ground next to an already tied up Mabel. "Take them aboard and set them on the ledge so they'll be right side up." Kirby ordered. "Why are you doing this, Kirby?" Tiff asked shedding a tear. "Why did you smack me?" Kirby yelled back as they were set upon the ledge. Meta Knight and Dedede stayed behind Kirby as he approached the three with the pistol in his hand. "I would like to start by telling you that two of you will die and one of you will live." He said sneering evilly. "You each have 30 seconds to explain to me why you should live and the others should die."

"You're a monster!" Tuff yelled. Kirby laughed. "No, YOU ARE THE MONSTERS! YOU TWO CREATED ME WITH YOUR BETRAYAL! I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! WHERE IS MARX, ANYWAY?" "He's been gone a few days." Tuff replied. "EXACTLY! HE'S NOT THERE! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR YOU! WHY DID YOU TURN ON ME SO EASILY? THAT REALLY HURT!" "That's what she said." Meta Knight whispered. Kirby whipped around. "IS THIS ALL JUST A JOKE TO YOU, META KNIGHT? IT'S NOT TO ME. THOSE TWO WERE MY FAMILY! I LOVED THEM MORE THAN MYSELF! AND THEY JUST...JUST..." Kirby couldn't finish as he burst into tears and fell on the floor and smacked it creating a huge dent in it. "I'm not paying for that." The knight said.

Kirby growled and shot Tuff straight in the face causing Tiff to shriek. His head slumped to sis shoulders and he was dead. Kirby trembled violently with his tears hitting the floor. The puff-ball went to hit and placed his hand in the blood. "I loved you like a brother. Why didn't you love me the same way?" "He did." Mabel said. "YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER SAID IS BULLSHIT, MABEL. COMPLETE BULLSHIT. WHY DON'T YOU OFFER US A FINAL PREDICTION BEFORE A BULLET PIERCES YOUR BRAIN!" "Sure. I've seen the future. I know that you won't always be like this. Listen closely, Kirby. You were created by an 12-year-old child and by an 12-year-old child will you be defeated." "DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? ITS ALL BULLSHIT! THERE YOU GO, EVERYONE. ITS MABEl." Kirby fired the gun and killed her as well which only left Tiff, Kirby's best friend. "Why me?" She asked.

"Remember when I said you'd live. I lied. I just want you watch the explosion of Pop Star and everyone you ever knew die." Kirby sneered. The murderer turned Tiff around and detonated the charges blowing the planet of Pop Star to bits as the Halberd flew into space with Palkia leading it. "Now it's your turn." Kirby said holding the gun to Tiff's cheek. "I-I-I love you, Kirby. You're basically my brother. When you think of me in the future, just know I forgive you for this. I hope to see you agin some day. I hope to see you in a better place where there is no fighting, no violence, no war. There is only love." "That place doesn't exist..." Kirby muttered. Tiff leaned in and planted a kiss on Kirby's cheek. "That meant something to me once." Kirby said remembering all the other times she had kissed him there. "Now it means nothing. I hope you burn in Hell." Kirby shot the gun and killed Tiff, his friend, his comrade, and his sister...

* * *

"That was dark was it not?" Kirby asked. "Of course it was. Now I believe we're going to talk about the critic 3." Meta Knight replied. "Yeah." Dedede said. "So, this guy left a negative review because of an error with Meta Knight's emotions and a spelling error in chapter 5 (which is fixed now)." Kirby said. "Don't think we're being babies. We would've just ignored it but then, he deleted it from the review page." Meta Knight added. "WHAT?" Dedede cried. "I know. If you're going to post a review, leave it there you fucking asshole! Don't rip it down like a coward." Kirby shouted. "One more thing, critic 3. We said at the top of the first chapter, we don't want to hear if we got something wrong. Just shut up, and go fuck a chick you 42-year-old virgin!" Meta Knight said. "If he's bitching about the color of your eyes, wait until we get to the tri-force." Kirby said. Meta Knight's eyes widened. "OH...MY...GOD..."


	7. SHOT

**This chapter is going to piss alot of people off. I'm warning you right now. Anyone who is obsessed with the Legend of Zelda is going to want to shoot me after this.**

* * *

**CH 7: SHOT**

"Okay, 3 words." Meta Knight said. "For the last time, Meta Knight, I'M DONE PLAYING CHARADES!" Kirby shouted. "Oh come on, Kirby. One more. Please?" "Urrg, fine." Kirby said giving in. "Yay! Okay, 3 words." "We've got that. Move it along cocksucker." Palkia said flying next to the Halberd as it flew through space. "Okay, First word." Meta Knight pointed at Kirby. "Murderer." Palkia guessed. "PINK!" Dedede cried. "Is it Kirby?" Kirby asked. "Yes, how did you two not know that. It was fucking simple. I pointed at Kirby so the word was obviously Kirby. You've have to be a fucking moron not to get that right."

"Let's get this moving." Kirby barked. "Okay, second word." Meta Knight preceded to make a bunch of wierd noises with his mouth. "Blowjobs?" Dedede suggested. "French kissing." Kirby tried. "What Dialga sounds like when he is annoying." Palkia guessed. Meta Knight seemed annoyed and continued to make the noise. "Giving Birth!" Palkia cried. Oh dude! That one sucked!" Dedede shouted. Meta Knight quickly nodded. "Sucks...Kirby sucks?" Dedede said. "Right!" Meta Knight said.

"Kirby sucks what?" Palkia asked. "Third word." Meta Knight said pointing at Palkia's head. "Kirby sucks Palkia's head. The fuck does that mean?" Dedede asked. Kirby remained silient and Meta Knight continued pointing at Palkia's head. "Oh...My...GOD! You son of a bitch!" Palkia shouted. "What is it?" Dedede asked. "Is it "Kirby sucks cocks?" "DING! DING! DING!" Meta Knight shouted. Kirby chuckled a bit before getting extremly angry. "DO YOU WANT TO BE RIPPED INTO PIECES AND SENT TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL?" "Not really" "THEN NO MORE CHARADES! WE'RE EVIL FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DID NIGHTMARE EVER PLAY CHARADES? NO! DID MARX EVER PLAY CHARADES? NO! NO MORE FUCKING CHARADES!" "I'm just curious. Do you like comparing my head to a whang?" Palkia asked. "Because here's a little present for you. YOU ARE A #$$%^%#% $%%^#^ &&$#^^&$!" "Wow, Kirby, what's a #$$%^%#%$%% $%% #$# # #% %?" "I'll tell you later." Kirby replied

"Palkia, do you have enough energy to transport us to the head world yet?" Kirby asked. "Sure, I'll give it a swing." The dragon replied. The lustrious orb on Palkia's shoulder lit up and they were transported into a bright place with humans all over the place. "We're invisible right now. So, you can't kill anyone." Palkia said. "Make us all not invisible." Kirby ordered. "I can't do that. I don't have enough power. Great sentence by the way. I'm sure the critic three will be on your ass about that one." "SHUT UP DICKFACE!" Kirby screamed. "I can make one of us uninvisible, though." "Perfect." Pink energy surrounded Kirby and the puffball was set upon a nearby building.

"Let's play skin the cat." Kirby said chuckling and running into the building. "Where'd you send him?" Meta Knight asked Palkia. "Its called Chucky Cheese. He'll be horrified in two second." Palkia replied. Sure enough, Kirby let out a blood curling shriek as about eight children began tugging on him. "MOMMY, I WANT TO KEEP HIM! "I'LL FEED HIM AND CLEAN HIS CAGE AND EVERYTHING!" "I'll kill every last one of you!" Kirby shouted at the children. "He's so cute!" "I'LL DEVOUR YOUR BONES!" Meta Knight and Palkia roared with laughter while Dedede was looking at the prizes. "I want one." He said. "Dedede, for the sake of everybody, just shut up man." Meta Knight demanded.

Kirby broke the grasp of all of the children and quickly inhaled a yo-yo changing him into yo-yo Kirby. "Time to play." He said hurling it. It hit a child's eye causing him to fall to the ground. He jumped onto one's back wrapping the yo-yo around her neck and strangled her until her body slumped onto the floor. The manager ran and called the cops. "Kirby is in here murdering children!" He yelled.

"Kirby, the nintendo character? My son loves his games. " "Send help. We're at the Chucky Cheese right across the street." "Right away." The cop said hanging up but didn't move. "Tim, aren't you going help them?" A cop asked. "Right Bob. Because I'm so concerned about what happens to the people that're in Chucky fucking cheese." "You're gonna get fired." "...Fine..." The two cops picked up their guns and ran to the building. Kirby now had his gun drawn and was blasting the people when he saw the Chucky Cheese mascot, Chucky Cheese. The murderer jumped onto his back and pointed the gun at his face when the cops burst in.

"Don't move or this useless twat dies!" Kirby shouted. Tim took a step foward. "TIM!" "Bob, Its the fucking mouse! Get over it." Kirby took this time abd shot Bob in the face causing him to fall. Kirby shot bthe mascot and leaped onto the nearest claw machine and shot at tim who took cover under the teletubbies game. "Be that way." kirby said pulling out his yo-yo. He flung it and it latched on to the top of the play pit. Kirby climbed up it and saw Tim was in the ballpit. "DIE, BALLS SACK!" He yelled shooting. Kirby was hit in the stomach and fell to the ground as blood covered the floors. "YES! I nailed him just like I nailed the reader's mama last night!" Tim shouted. "You bastard." Kirby said coughing up blood. Tim shot again and Kirby was nailed in the face.

"20 bucks says he's dead." Palkia said using his energy to turn Kirby invisible. Meta Knight and Dedede ran to him. "Kirby..." Dedede said nudging him. "How'd that go?" Meta Knight asked. "IT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE!" Kirby cried. Palkia used his powers to completely heal Kirby's wounds. "What happened?" Dedede asked. "I GOT SHOT! AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING-" "No." Dedede interupted. "IT HURT! IT HURT LIKE A SON OF BITCH! IT EVEN BLED!" "What do you want Kirby, to be completely invincible?" Meta Knight asked. Kirby smiled. "Oh shit..." Meta Knight said shaking his head. "Is that even possible?" "There is one way." Palkia replied. "How?" Kirby asked. "It is in a place called Hyrule. It is the Quodforce. There are four triangles. One for courage, one for wisdom, one for power, and last one.. is for invincibility."

"So, if I were to absorb this triangle, I could be completely invincible, right?" Kirby asked. Palkia nodded. "Let's go to Hyrule..." Kirby said evilly.

* * *

"Are you pissed or what?" Kirby asked. "Don't answer that. I know the answer. So, I know the critic 3 is going to be really pissed. But, who is the critic 3. Thanks to the hard work of 20 dead basketball players I have the answer. But, in order to help me deliver this information, I have Yoshi and Moogle, two future characters here to help. Say Hi!" "Hi..assholes." Yoshi said. "YOU ALL ARE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!" Moogle screamed. "So, just who is the critic 3?" Kirby asked. "A douchebag?" Yoshi suggested. "Well, yeah. But, who is he?" "Scum of the earth?" Moogle guessed. "Describing every person ever isn't going to help you!" Kirby yelled. "Who is it?" Yoshi asked. It's one of the people that help write the series and he's acting like a complete hypocrite. Because his comments are irrelevant, they will be removed shortly. Sorry critic, I don't want all of that dog shit in our review box. An actual plot hole and average negative review would be left alone but you're going way over the top. That is the critic 3 everyone. There you go."


	8. Sorry Jack, Marx is Back

**CH 8: The Quodforce part 1: Sorry Jack, Marx is Back**

"Where a kid can be a kid!" Palkia sang. "I'm going to rip out your intestines and feed them to you." Kirby warned. "Kirby, you got your ass kicked in CHUCKY CHEESE! That is hysterical!" Meta Knight said. "I wanted the fluffy unicorn." Dedede complained. "PEOPLE IN HELL WANT ICE WATER!" Kirby shouted in reply. "That was lame man. That's the oldest one out there." Palkia said. "How about this? People in Africa want food." "What's Africa?" Kirby asked. "Forget it." They all sat in silence for awhile. "How long before we get to Hyrule so we can snag the Quodforce of invincibility?" Kirby asked. "You drained my energy in the last chapter you ass. Piss off!" Palkia yelled.

"What is the Quodforce of invincibility, anyway?" Meta Knight asked. "Its the most powerful gem in the universe. However, it is balanced by the bearers of the Quodforces of courage, wisdom, and power which surround it. (Zelda fans. You've wondered what that space in the middle is before. Don't lie to me. I know you have.)" Palkia replied. "If one of those bearers were to be slain then you could most likely take control of it." "Who are the bearers?" Kirby asked. "Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf." "Who is the weakest?" Meta knight asked.

"Zelda!" Link shouted while Navi was flying around his shoulder. "HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN!" "WHAAAAAT?" Link screamed. "When Zelda comes in here you should totally rip her dress off." "Navi, shut up." Link commanded. Zelda entered the room and Navi flew up her dress. "Ooooh yeah. There are some real rupees in here if you know what I'm saying." She teased. "NAVI, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Link yelled as Zelda swatted her out. "Yes Link." "He wants to know if you can identify a genital wart." Navi said. "I am going to cut you in half." Link yelled. "Anyways, have you seen Ganondorf recently?" "Why would I be looking for Ganondorf, idiot?" "Its just that he hasn't tried anything recently and its worrying me." "He's probably just thinking of that one question again." Zelda said leaving. "Oh right."

"Should I be a pig for this adventure, or a human? THIS IS SO HARD!" Ganondorf shouted. "That decision will not matter after this." Kirby said jumping down behind him. "Who are you?" "I am Kirby, mass murderer extraordinaire, and I am here to murder you." "Why?" "That's all you have to say. If someone came to murder me I'd ask why after I made them bleed like a stuffed pig. "Just like how I will make you bleed, pig." "Your death will make me stronger as the deaths of many pigs make the average person stronger. You're on my farm now, Ganondorf. Say OINK! SAY IT!" "O-O-OINK!" Ganondorf said crying. "Your death will bring me immortality. I just have to kill you, find the Quodforce of invincibility, and all the power I desire will be mine." Kirby tied Ganondorf down to a chair while he was crying. "Sweet dreams." Kirby said pointing a shotgun at his head

Suddenly, Marx jumped from the ceiling and kicked Kirby in the head knocking him to the ground. "Y-YOU!" Kirby shouted angrily. "Hi Kirby. How are Tiff and Tuff?" "DEAD! I KILLED THEM!" Marx laughed. "That's funny considering how much she loved you." "Tiff? Your delusional. You took her from me the second I kicked you in the face." "You took her from yourself by killing her. Have a look into this." Marx popped his ball revealing a book inside it which he kicked over at Kirby. "T-This is her diary." "I know. I stole it. Turn to the last page with words on it." Kirby flipped through and his heart immediately broke when he saw what she had written in it on the day he killed her.

"Dear diary,

I beginning to think I'm not being fair to Kirby. I saw him the other day and he looked really sad. Maybe he's just

mistaking Marx for somebody else. I think that's it because he's never mean to anyone. He wouldn't even hurt a fly.

I'm going to go find him today and see if he wants to hang out. I hope he can forgive me for being a jerk to him the

past couple of days. I love him so much. He's like a second brother to me. Sorry this entry is so short but I'm goi_"

Kirby was now crying like a baby. "Do you know what the line is?" Marx asked. "What?" Kirby asked wiping his tears. "That's when Dedede snatched her and tied her up with rope!" Marx shouted. Kirby looked up with hate at his enemy. "Poor Tiff. She was about to ask you to go on a date with her and she was murdered for it. Are you feeling loss, Kirby? Are you feeling like shit? That's how I felt when you crushed my dream." "You were evil. You deserved it." "And now you're evil and you deserve it. But, I must thank you because now I have a second chance at immortality. I know about the Quodforce of invincibility because of you and your big mouth." Kirby continued to wipe his tears. "You killed the only one who will ever love you. You are garbage." Marx taunted. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't showed up, they'd still be alive." "But I did show up. You killed them. Not me. Don't try to pin this on me. I didn't shoot her in the head! YOU DID!"

Kirby fired the machine gun at Marx who immediately transformed into his bat-like form and blocked the bullets. "That's not going to work on me. I am not as weak as her." "SHUT UP!" Kirby screamed firing more bullets at Marx who vanished behind Kirby and fired bright arrows of light at him causing him to drop the machine gun. Marx teleported behind Kirby and fired a blast of bright light at him slamming him against the walls of the castle. Ganondorf broke out of the chair and ran out only to be confronted by Meta knight, Dedede, and Palkia. "Where do you think you're going?" Meta Knight asked holding Galaxia by his throat.


	9. An Unlikely Partnership

**WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO INTRODUCE THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE FRANCHISE! THE CHARACTER IS MOOGLE! MOOGLE IS A SATANIST AND IS SATAN'S RIGHT HAND MAN! THIS WILL SPAWN SOME INCREDIBLY SACRELIGIOUS DIALOUGUE AND WILL ESPECIALLY BE OFFENSIVE TO CHRISTIAN EXTREMIST! SO, IF THIS OFFENDS YOU, DONT SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!**

* * *

**CH 9: The Quodforce part 2: An Unlikely Partnership and Marx's Past**

"What's that? I can't hear you." Meta Knight said. "I'm trying to escape." Ganondorf replied. "I don't want you to get away." Meta Knight replied to the reply. "But, I want to get away." Ganondorf replied to the reply of the reply. "OH SHUT UP!" Palkia screamed at the narrator. "Don't be mean to him. "He's nice!" Dedede shouted. Ganondorf, being the wise king of evil, saw an opprutunity. "Meta Knight, it seems you have a spider on your mask." He said. "AHHH SPIDER? I HATE SPIDERS!" Dedede screamed raising Hammy in the air. "Don't you even-" Meta Knight began but was ut off by Hammy striking him and made him fly up into Palkia's head. Ganondorf laughed and sprinted off towards Hyrule to warn his fellow bearers of the events which took place.

Kirby was locked in a battle with Marx who was kicking his ass. "Your rage has unbalanced you. That's not going to help you defeat me." Marx warned. Kirby stood up and held the wound on his side. "I have been waiting a long time for this, Kirby. Not only will I be able to kill you but I will be able to achieve the ultimate power." "You will be doing none of that, prick." Kirby shouted angrily. "Remember, in our last battle, you actually had a goal that wasn't selfish and that is how you prevailed. Now, you're fighting for your own selfish means. Its only whose resolve is stronger. And, let me tell you, my resolve is stronger than yours will ever be. What are you fighting me for, Kirby? Tell me again."

"I want two things. I want the quodforce of invincibility and I want to see you dead for murdering her." "Tiff." Marx laughed. "You killed her. Not me. I don't know how many more times I have to tell you that... Do you know why I was fighting for the control of Pop Star?" "Why?" "My father was once the king of Dreamland. I was born 15 years into his reign and was a tiny baby when the unthinkable happened." "What was that?" "I don't know why he did it. I mean, everyone was so happy with the job my father was doing. You're idiotic fatass friend, Dedede murdered him and seized the throne for himself like the greedy bastard that he is." "Why didn't the throne go to you?" Kirby asked doubting this story. "Because I was an infant. Dreamland couldn't wait for me to grow up. The throne went to Dedede and I grew up. I had no idea but eventually discovered what happened thanks to a few villagers who were having a conversation about it.

So, I left Dreamland and began my conquest to control Dreamland and the entire fucking planet to get the throne back where belongs, with ME! I gained many supporters including a company which I'm sure you know of. Does Holy Nightmare ring a bell?" Kirby's eyes lit up. After you defeated them, I knew I could use you to get what I want. So, when you left to go on your own little adventures, I got the sun and moon to fight and used you to resurrect the Nova so I could regain Pop Star and continue my father's legacy. But you had to fuck it up! YOU HAD TO GET IN THE WAY! YOU COULDN'T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE, COULD YOU? THAT THRONE BELONGS TO ME, NOT DEDEDE!"

"Your father, like you, is trash." Kirby said darkly. Tears began to fall from Marx's big eyes. "YOU DON'T KNOW MY FATHER! HELL, I DIDN'T KNOW MY FATHER! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FAMILY, KIRBY? YOU'VE NEVER HAD A FAMILY! YOU WERE ALONE FROM THE START!" "That's not true. I did have a family... and you took them from me. We're feeling the same pain, Marx." Kirby said. "DON'T COMPARE ME TO YOU! I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Marx yelled flying at Kirby. The puff-ball took out a rocket launcher and blasted it at Marx who was hit square in the face and flew outside the castle walls and landed right in front of Palkia, Meta Knight, and King Dedede. Kirby took out a pistol and pressed it up against a wounded Marx's cheek. "This is the very weapon I used to murder her... and now, its going to murder you too." Kirby said remembering Tiff.

Pink energy then surrounded Palkia's fist and the dragon fired a Spacial rend right at Kirby knocking him away from Marx. "What the hell, Palkia?" Meta Knight yelled. Palkia turned to Meta Knight and fired an aura sphere at him and Dedede who flew next to Kirby. "Thanks." Marx said weakly. "No problem,...partner." Palkia replied. Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede gasped. "I suppose you want an explanation, don't you?" Palkia said. "Palkia is one of my supporters, Kirby." Marx shouted. "He came to me right before you did and made the same threats you did." Palkia explained. "He wanted to come to this universe to become invincible like you." "When did you even-" Kirby began.

"What do you think I did while you were dicking around in the Call of Duty world?" Palkia interrupted. "He tried to transport me to Ganondorf's castle immediately but was just too weak. Good thing I found this place when I did." Marx added. "So, why help us?" Meta Knight asked. Palkia stared at Marx who nodded his head which made the dragon speak. "Marx wanted Kirby to feel pain and loss. I helped him to influence the darkness in his mind and I succeeded. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a quodforce to capture." The two of them vanished from sight.

They traveled but were stopped in the middle of their transportation. "What's going on?" Marx asked. "I don't know." Palkia replied. A green portal appeared within the black nothingness and out stepped Hell's mightiest warrior, Moogle (Who has Mario Hoops 3 on 3 appearance just with sharper teeth and way more demonic looking.) "Moogle..." Marx muttered. "I wouldn't be talking, cocksucker. May I remind you that you have 24 hours to gain immortality or your soul is fucked for all eternity." Suddenly, Marx began to cough up tons of blood and fell to the ground. "What are you doing to him?" Palkia asked. "That's the disease kicking in, you shithead." Moogle replied. "Marx here was killed after his fight with Kirby. But, since he hardly committed any other sins, he was sentenced to Purgatory. But, he wanted more with his life.

So, he made a deal with Lord Satan. We would give him one month to get revenge and find immortality. If he did, he would remain alive. But if he failed, he would give up his place in Heaven and burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity. So, his body is slowly starting to rot. If he doesn't have the quodforce of invincibility within 24 hours, the two of us are paying Lord Satan a little visit." "I'll have it. Just you wait." Marx said coughing up more blood. "Just know that wherever you go, I'll be right behind you, watching you." Moogle warned as he jumped though a portal that appeared behind him.


	10. Kirbylicious

**CH 10: The Quodforce part 3: Kirbylicious**

"Now I know what a handicapped person feels like." Meta Knight said trying to stand up. "Palkia and his gay lover Marx will soon get what they deserve." Kirby replied "A giant box filled with Nicki Minaj cds?" Meta Knight asked. "WHO IS NICKI MINAJ?" Kirby shouted angrily. "Its just something Palkia said before he left. He said she was bad so-" "Okay we got it." Dedede said. "What're we going to do now?" Meta Knight asked. "We still have the Halberd, dumbass." "Oh you're right." Meta Knight said as they walked towards it. "Usually it has been destroyed by now." "What?" Dedede asked. They boarded the Halberd. "What if it gets destroyed?" Meta Knight asked. "A true murderer always has a back-up plan." Kirby said.

Ganondorf approached Zelda's castle and took a deep breath as he knocked on the door. Link opened it. "Zelda! I thought we took the garbage out this morning!" Link called. "Shut up fairy boy. The three of us have a big problem on our hands." "I know! Link hasn't made me breakfest yet." Navi said. "SHUT UP, NAVI!" Link shouted. "This is serious." Ganondorf warned." "Just let the dwebe speak." Zelda said from behind. "I'm so sorry. Its that time again." Navi whispered. "YOU PARASITE!" Zelda shouted throwing a fireball at the fairy. After that whole thing, the three of them sat in the kitchen. "Would you like some tea?" Navi asked Ganondorf. "Sure. Nothing says the King of Evil quite like tea." "Well, screw you then." Ganondorf took out a large bag and placed it front of the fated duo.

"What's that?" Zelda asked. "100,000 rupees." "What's that for?" So you know I'm serious." "OHH NO! IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN THAT!" Link shouted "Why?" "BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF RUPEES THE SAME WAY ANYMORE! RIGHT NAVI!" "Oh shut up Link. I'm sorry if I aroused you." "Just take the rupees Link. You know to want them on you." "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" Link replied. "Anyway. We are all in danger. The triforce of invincibility is being thraetened." "By what?" A huge explosion followed this and Marx and Palkia entered the castle. "Here's MARXY!" Marx shouted.

Link drew the master sword and Palkia shot an aura sphere at him knocking him to the ground. "Link sure went down fast when balls were thrown at him." Marx laughed. "Okay, great. Marx, you'd better take a look at this." Palkia said throwing a letter at him.

Dear Marx, Kirby, Meta Knight, King Dedede, Palkia, Moogle, and any future characters of this series,

We would like to inform you that the vile language, sexual references, violence, making fun the police, Chucky Cheese, and sac religious dialouge in this story have been offending people who read it. After a series of complaints, we ask you to tone down the many issues mentioned above or your job termination will be imediate.

sincerley, staff of a website that has its name in white on a blue bar in the top left corner of the screen..

"So we can't say "fuck" in our own fucking story now? Is that right?" Marx asked. "I guess so." "What about Moogle?"

Meanwhile, in Hell. "IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, READERS, MOVE TO ANTARTICA!" Moogle shouted.

"Something tells me that he's not going to change." Palkia said. "So, I still have to get the Quodforce? (Is that pissing- oh I'm sorry. Does that make you mad, Critic 3? BECAUSE WE AREN'T CHANGING IT JUST BECAUSE YOU OPENED YOUR BIG MOUTH!) Marx yelled. "What I want to know is why the letter was adressed to us and not the author." Palkia said. "Yeah, and "job termination?" What the hell are they talking about?"

"You have got to be ! #$%^& kidding me!" Kirby shouted reading the letter. "Why are they going FCC on us all of a sudden?" Meta Knight asked. "Dedede dry humping a baloon back there isn't helping us out, let me just say that." Kirby replied. "I'm just sitting on it!" "Right. THIS IS JUST #$%^& GREAT! TOTALLY #$%^& AWESOME!" Kirby shouted. " #$%^&*( about it isn't going to help." Meta Knight said. "Hey guys. check this out. Its a LEMON!" Dedede called. Kirby and Meta Knight went to Dedede and proceeded to read an intense description of sexual activity between to characters.

"Why would he do that?" Meta Knight asked. "Its great, isn't it?" Kirby shot Dedede in the hand with the pistol. "Sorry, Fanfiction. Last time, I promise. BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD READ THAT PILE OF CRAP! WHO GETS SEXUAL THRILLS OVER TWO NON EXISTENT CHARACTERS SCREWING LIKE RABBITS! THAT IS RIDICULOUS! WHO READS THAT TRASH?

Marx fired a laser blast knocking Ganondorf next to Zelda and Link whom they defeated. "So, after years of defending the quodforce, you're all dieing together. How sweet." Marx said. Marx's wings turned to all the colors of the rainbow. "Homosexual powers activate!" Navi shouted. Marx fired a rainbow blast which hit the trio and sent them flying outside of the castle. Palkia then charged Spacial Rend and turned to Navi. "HEY LISTEN!" He said. "To what?" "Your scream." He said flinging the attack killing Navi." The two then went outside of the castle to see the Halberd flying at the castle. "I told you to destroy that thing." Marx yelled. "I knew I forgot something. I had that feeling in my gut where you know your forgetting something but you just can't figure out what it is."

"JUST GO!" Marx ordered. Palkia's wings lifted him up and took him into the air so he was facing the Halberd. "How are you going to destroy it?" Marx asked. "The same way I do every damn thing." the dragon replied charging the Spacial Rend and flinging it at the ship. It cut the ship in half and sent the pieces flying towards the ground. A gold star then flew right at palkia and hit him over the head. "OW! THAT STUNG! That was a flawless attack, though." It didn't take Marx long to realize Kirby was in his mic copy ability. "No! DON'T SING! I BEG YOU! IT'LL BE THE BIGGEST PILE OF CRAP SINCE STAR WARS EPISODE 1! DON'T!" " It won't be terrible. It'll be... KIRBYLICIOUS!" "CRAAAP!" Marx yelled.

Music blared from the headsets Kirby wore he put it on speaker so everyone could hear it. ("You'll know what this is a parody of. Don't worry." Kirby laughed.)

_"LISTEN UP Y'ALL_

_CAUSE THIS IS IT!_

_THE BEAT THAT I'M BANGING _

_IS **EXPLOSIVE!**_

_"Kirbylicious definition make them peeps go boom boom. They want me murdered so Palkia and Marx work together._

_You can see me. You can't kill me. Marx is stupid. Palk is queer. I got reasons why I kill 'em. Victims come and go like pop songs._

**_Kirbylicious _**_(Kirbylicious)_

_But, I ain't finished yet. And if they try to kill me, I got a solution. I'll just shoot 'em KER-BOOM!_

_That puts 'em 10 feet under and I'd be lining down the block just to blow their heads off._

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_You're dead (dead)_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_I grab my sword and slice your head_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_I make you see the color red_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

_M-M-M-M-Murdered Murdered_

_Kirbylicious def- Kirbylicious def- Kirbylicious def- (x1000)_

_Kirbylicious definition make your heads explode. They always claim I'm faking. I go to them. Call them morons._

_I'm the **M** to the **U**, **R**, **D**, the **E**, the **R **and can't no other person put 'em down like me._

**_I'm Kirbylicious (Kirbylicious)_**

_Your family's being murdered . I be up in your room just flickin on my chainsaw. He's my witness. (Meta Knight: "WHAT?")_

_I put yo head underground and cops be linin down the block like "We didn't see a thing."_

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_You're dead (dead)_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_I grab my sword and slice your head_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

**_I make you see the color red_**

**_Kirbylicious_**

_Guess, guess, guess, guess what?_

_YOU'RE DEAD_

_Marxy, Marxy, Marxy, do you really want me? Dude, just get a life. Maybe then someone'll care._

_You'll be dead with Tiffy. And also Tuffy. You will rot in Hell. I will laugh at you._

_**P**- to the **A** to the **LKIA** dude you suck_

_P- to the A to the LKIA dude you're trash_

_**D** to the **O **to the **UCHEBAG**_

_To the D to the O to the, to the, to the, Marxy that's you-"_

Marx shrieked like a baby and rolled over. Palkia fell to the ground in pain. Link passed out. Zelda cried. But, Ganondorf couldn't take it... and his head exploded...


	11. The quodforce: The finale

**Ch 11: The Quodforce Part 4: the Finale**

Ganondorf's body fell onto the ground which made Kirby stop singing Kirbylicious. Palkia and Marx glared at Kirby whom shot a glare right back at them. "Let's play freeze tag!" Palkia yelled using blizzard. Kirby was hit and blown off the warp star. Marx's big wings flapped which blew Meta Knight and Dedede back. The villain then fell coughing up more blood. "How much time is left?" He asked. "You should get a watch." Palkia replied. "I don't exactly have arms." "I know. I'm insulting you." "Screw you." "You have... 20 minutes! But, that's impossible. Thunder clapped and down from the sky came Arceus and Dialga. "You..." Palkia said. "Friends of yours?" Marx asked. "Not exactly."

"You've gone too far, Palkia. We agreed not to openly support the cause of one." Arceus said. "So, I sped up time." Dialga explained. "Why didn't you speed it up all the way, dumbass?" Palkia yelled. "Because I just had to meet the arrogant son of a bitch that brainwashed you." Arceus said chuckling. Marx was now losing his flesh and his body was rotting. "Get that Quodforce. I'll hold them off." Palkia said. Marx's rotting wings quickly picked him up. "Where is it anyway?" He asked. "It should be in the castle and- OH CRAP!" Zelda yelled. Marx flew inside the Hyrule Castle. Zelda followed but Kirby jumped in front of her holding Link's Master Sword. He then slashed her gut creating an opening and jammed a grenade. "Happy birthday, hag!" He yelled kicking her into the air causing her to explode. Her body parts flew everywhere. Kirby laughed like a psychopath and quickly persued his enemy.

Meta Knight and Dedede stood up. "Should we help Kirby?" Dedede asked. Meta Knight laughed. "What's so funny?" "Dedede, this is the part where Kirby and Marx fight. We, being the sidekicks, aren't allowed to help. So, go get Pictionary Man. Let's play!" "I love Pictionary Man!"

Marx was weakening and his wings couldn't carry him anymore. Kirby quickly caught him and swung the Master Sword but was kicked in the face. "Leave me alone, Kirby. I'm taking back what's mine. "I know. An all expenses paid trip to Hell cortesy of me, Kirby!" The puff-ball took out the pistol and fired at Marx striking his wing causing him to shriek. He quickly retreated into the throne room. Kirby followed him and the two noticed that the Quodforce of Invincibility sat on the altar and stared eachother down. "Wait! Before we fight, I've got to put on a rocking tune." Kirby said. Marx scowled as kirby went to the radio but quickly smiled. "I love this song." He said. "Its great isn't it." Kirby said.

_Another mission, the powers have called me away. Another time to carry the colors again. My motivation, an oath I've sworn to defend to win the honor of coming back home again. No explanation will matter after we begin. Another dark destroyer that's buried within. My true vocation and now my unfortunate friend, you will discover a war you're unable to win. I'll have you know that I've become **INDESTRUCTIBLE!** Determination that is incorruptable. From the other side, a terror to behold. Annihilation will be unavoidable. Every broken enemy will know that their opponent had to be invincible. Take a last look around while you're alive. I'm an indestructible master of war._

Marx charged at Kirby who did a flip to the side dodging the charge and shot at Marx but he flew in the air to dodge it. He fired a beam at Kirby but the murderer leaped over it and fired hitting Marx square in the face. He shook his head and fired light arrows which locked on to Kirby and each entered his face. "You look like Pinhead from Hellraiser." Marx said laughing. "I'll show you a hellraiser, asshole." Kirby yelled calling the warp star which flew in the air and planted Marx against the wall. The puff-ball took out a rocket launcher and fired at Marx whom was pinned bu the warp star and exploded the whole wall. "I salute my fallen enemy!" Kirby yelled making a fart noise with his mouth and turned to the Quodforce.

"This little adventure is now over. Just like Madonna's career." He said picking up the Quodforce. Suddenly, a giant cactus exploded from the ground. It grew and pinned Kirby to the ceiling. "Damn it." He said. He watched as Marx walked toward the gem he had dropped. He was limping and had one eye. "Its over, Kirby. I win." He said picking it up with his wing and he laughed. Suddenly, another laugh filled the air that wasn't Marx's. Kirby had never heard it before but Marx was alarmed. "Times up you meat headed shitsack." A voice said laughing. "What? That's not fair! I have the gem." Kirby was suddenly released and greeted by Moogle, the satanist. "Exactly one month ago from now, we gave you a month to get invincible. Its been a month...you're not invincible." The white creature said. "BUT-BUT-" "It doesn't matter. Welcome to Hell, Marx."

Moogle clamped his fist and Marx hurled blood and some internal organs onto the ground and dropped the Quodforce. The villain then began to to laugh as he fell to the ground. Kirby approached him. "What's so funny, Marx. You're about to die." He said. "What's funny is I won, Kirby. I beat you." "I disagree. I'm not sprawled on the floor upchucking organs." Marx laughed. "My goal was to defeat Kirby. I did just that. I made you lose it. You're completley crazy." "I made my own decisions. Nobody made them but me." "Do you regret them?" "T-T-That's none of your buisness." Kirby said tearing up. Marxs laughed like a lunatic. "My job is done. I wanted to torture you but I've done enough. I'll see you in Hell." Marx said and then he breathed his last.

Moogle picked up the body and turned to Kirby. "I saved your ass this time, Kirby. But, I may not always be your friend. I do Lord Satan's will. I couldn't give two shits about you or anyone you know. Remember that." "I will." Moogle shot fire from his hands which opened a portal to Hell and he dragged Marx's body which had a sneer on it through the portal. Kirby turned to the Quodforce. "Its time to become the most powerful being in the universe." he said laughing.


	12. How Kirby Met Yoshi

**Ch 12: How Kirby met Yoshi**

Arceus slammed his hoof into Palkia's face causing the dragon to fall towards the ground. "You-" The dragon began but Arceus cut him off. "Did you honestly think you could defeat a god?" He said. Dialga stuck his tongue out. "That was mature." "Shut it!" The space and time dragons continued their verbal argument until Arceus shouted at them. "KNOCK IT OFF! If you keep fighting you will both be banished to the distortion world! All you can do their is talk with...Giratina." "NO! NOT GIRATINA!" Palkia cried beginning to tremble. "At our reunion he ripped out a puppy's soul and ate it." Dialga said crying. "Palkia, your coming with us." The god said angrily. "Over my burned carcass." The dragon replied. Energy surrounded Arceus's head. "That's the idea." He said firing the Judgement attack into the air. "Judgement is such a bitch..." Palkia sighed shaking his head before getting slammed into the ground.

When Palkia hit the ground, the shock waves blew Meta Knight off of his feet and the small knight spread his wings. "Jeez man, drop some pounds will you?" He requested. "I'll drop a pound of spacial energy right in your ass!" "Please don't." Meta Knight said chuckling. Dialga then fired a Roar of Time at his counterpart slamming him against the castle walls. "You're done." Arceus said landing on top of it. Pink energy surrounded Palkia and he teleported. This caused Arceus to shake his head. "You can't escape your creator." He said.

Kirby held the Quodforce of Invincibility in his grasp. "After this nightmare, I deserve this." He decided. He began to absorb the jewel when a flash image of Meta Knight and Dedede came into his mind. "Urrg. I can't just not give them anything. Maybe this thing has some kind of divider." Kirby went to Zelda's bookshelf and pulled out "_The Quodforce for dummies"_ and began flipping to the section about the middle part. "While this gem grants the absorber invincibility and immortality, the gem itself isn't invincible. Beware!" Kirby said reading the book and then tossing it in the garbage.

The murderer grabbed Link's Master Sword and chopped the small triangle into 3 pieces. Two were small and the other was big. Kirby absorbed the biggest piece and clasped the other 2 and walked out. He felt immense power and protection surging throughout his small body.

"Checkmate! I win." Dedede said. "2 things: 1: We're playing go fish. 2: I just won." Meta Knight replied, "Fuck this game." Dedede said standing up. "You really suck." Arceus informed the king when Kirby walked out. "Is that him?" Dialga asked. "Yep! He's selling at 2 million dollars now." Dedede replied. "What?" Kirby questioned. "I put you on sale at Ebay. You're selling at 2 million dollars." Kirby squinted and Meta Knight put his hands on his face. "You're auctioning me on a website." The puff-ball shouted angrily. "Yeah." "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Kirby shouted leaping at Dedede tackling him. "Kirby, I had no idea you liked leaping on top of men so much." Arceus chuckled getting Kirby to stop.

"I even saved you two some of the Quodforce. But, since your selling me to some fat hillbilly with no job I guess I'll just take them for myself." Kirby said angrily. "It was his idea!" Meta Knight insisted. "Kiss my ass!" Dedede shouted back causing Meta Knight to slap him with Galaxia. "Here you two brats go. Just shut up." Kirby shouted handing them the pieces which they absorbed. "Now, what're they still doing here?" Kirby asked pointing at Dialga and Arceus. "I agreed we'd help them track down Palkia." Meta Knight informed. "That is a good idea." Kirby said smiling. "We can take revenge on that bastard for betraying us." "Palkia's the only pokemon with the balls to betray us." Meta Knight said.

Palkia came out of his portal and landed on a green island extremly wounded. "Hey, fatass." A voice called. The dragon opened his eyes to see Yoshi standing there. "Who are you?" He asked. "Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing. Its not everyday a strange gay dragon lands on my island." "Gay?" "You're pink. That's enough evidence for me." "Palkia..." "Yoshi... What the hell do you want, maggot?" "I just need a little time to recover. That's it." Palkia's statement caused Yoshi to laugh. "WHAT?" "Do I look like the kind of guy who is just going to let you waltz in in homosexual fashion and use my land without a price. Nu-uh Pinky. You're crazy." "I don't exactly have money." "You're a dragon. What use could I have for a beast as powerful as yourself?" "...Cooking?" "Oh fuck you buddy." Yoshi growled scowling.

"What exactly do you want...asshole?" "Let me answer your question that was asked so politely. I want you attack...Mario." "Why?" "When he leaps off your back to make a jump and sends you down a 3000 ft high cliff then you'll understand." "If you're as powerful as you are arrogant, why haven't you just done it yourself?" "Oh Pinky. You make me laugh. You really do. That's only because you're so pathetic. When you master something, you make money off it. Never show your talents for free." "Greedy Bastard..." Yoshi chuckled. "You're counselors seem to be behind you." He said.

Palkia turned and laid eyes on Kirby, Meta Knight, King Dedede, Dialga, and Arceus. "Palkia, it's over." Dialga said. "Marx is dead. Moogle dragged him to Hell. You're next." Kirby said holding the pistol. "Do you really think its going to be that easy?" Yoshi asked Kirby. "Who the hell do you think you are?" "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other one." Kirby fired a bullet at the dinosaur but an egg struck it. "What do you care about this dragon?" "Pinky here is going to do a little favor for me in exchange for my hospitality." "Why does every character we meet have to be a psycho villain?" Meta Knight asked.

"Go get laid in the shower and then eat a tuna sandwich, asshole." Yoshi replied. "What have you been doing all day?" Meta Knight asked looking at the collection of movies Yoshi had in his house. "I've been reviewing movies, books, and Fanfiction that I like but giving them negative reviews for no reason." "Who the fuck in their right mind reviews things they like negatively?" Arceus asked. A long silence followed this. "Do you think he'll get it?" Dialga asked. "Probably." Kirby said rolling his eyes. "Now, let's get down to business." Yoshi said sneering.

* * *

"There you go." Kirby said applauding. "The chapter is finally done and now we have an announcement." Meta Knight said. "If you don't have sex you can't get STD's." Dedede said. "That's right. A new discovery shows that not having sexual intercourse is a 100% effective way not to get the diseases you hear about on the radio or in your local AIDS clinic." Meta Knight said, "And now on to the real announcement." Kirby said. "Since we're such nice people, we will take suggestions of a video game world that you would like to see get a crossover with me, Kirby. The rules are simple. In a review just type the name of the video game series that you would like to see get the crossover. Please note however, that no character in the game franchise that you select is guaranteed survival. Even the main character has the same survival rate as that one asshole you saw get out of Buffalo Wild Wings at 3 in the morning drunk off his ass and drove into the dead of night. Also, as this series is generally comedy character personality traits will be shifted to make them more comedic. For example, in an upcoming Bioshock crossover, the Little Sister is hitting adolescence and always texting on her phone and is a punk. The Big Daddy is a frustrated father trying to control her. You can't give suggestions on how to make the series funnier. That's the author's job. You just give the game you want. **DON'T GIVE SUGGESTIONS!"**


	13. Yoshi vs Kirby

**CH 13: Yoshi vs. Kirby**

"Now, let's get down to buisness." Yoshi had said clenching his fists. "Aww! He's so cute!" Dedede said. An egg flew at Dedede and smacked him in the head knocking him out. "And there's alot more where that one came from fatso." Yoshi said tossing one in the air at Meta Knight. The knight quickly launched the Sword Beam attack at the egg splitting the egg in half. It flew at Yoshi who jumped over it. The beam hit Yoshi's house causing it to explode. All of the dinosaur's things, movies, and everything he valued exploded with it. Yoshi's eye twitched and Kirby and Meta Knight roared with laughter. "You son of a bitch..." Yoshi said darkley. "OH NO HE DIDN'T" Dialga yelled. Yoshi quickly stomped on the ground in a very specific combination.

"Speed this up. We aren't playing DDR." Meta Knight yelled. "Shut it." Yoshi said before breaking out into song. "I'm a Barbie Girl, in a barbie world. Life in plastic. It's fantastic." "WHAT THE?" Kirby shouted as his jaw dropped. Meta Knight shielded his eyes. "You're my hope for survival. I'm so dead." Palkia said. "I created a world. I created all the Pokemon. But, I never knew such an atrocity could exist." Arceus said rolling his eyes. "What if Shadow saw this?" Dialga asked. "Don't even go there." The god responded. "SHUT UP! It helps me remeber the code." When the song was over, a big pillar rose. "Nintendo said this weapon was too "Violent" for the Mario games. But, you've earned a golden ticket. You've earned a golden ticket. You've earned a golden ticket straight to Hell." Yoshi sang in the tune of that one song in the Choclate Factory movie.

A very wierd looking gun landed in Yoshi's hands. He pointed it straight at Mets Knight and fired. A nail sored through the air and struck the knight in the head taking him down. "Well, the Quodforce is a piece of shit." Meta Knight said on the ground. "Actually, it isn't. Chapter 6 of the _Quodforce for dummies_, Page 217. "The effects will take over within 5 hours." Yoshi informed with a sneer. "What?" "I spent Christmas with Link last year." Yoshi replied.

"Dialga, Arceus stay back. I've got this one." Kirby said stepping foward. Yoshi held up the nail gun. "Don't take another step." He warned. Kirby made a fart noise with his toungue to which the dinosaur scowled at. "Kirby, act mature. I assure you. I'm your worst nightmare." "My worst nightmare already came true, dickhead. My friends are dead." "Then what beef do you have with me. Scram!" "Meta Knight and Dedede are now the closest things I have to friends. Mess with them, you mess with me." "Tsk... Tsk. Its a shame that one with so much potential is being wasted by a fatass and self concious meta head. You could've been so much more. Oh well. Today, your life ends."

Kirby drew Galaxia and watched as yoshi rolled into an egg which Galaxia easily shattered. A nail was shot at the pink ball wh cut it down with his partner's blade. Kirby drew the pistol and shot at the green dinosaur who shot in the air and a rainbow propelled him foward. "Rainbows. Really?" "Not the most manly but whatever." "Yeah, its gay." "Says the pink ball." "That's it dino, you're fucking dead." Kirby shouted charging foward. Yoshi rolled into an egg and plowed Kirby like land and broke out. "Its going to take more than that." He said laughing. "Warp Star." Kirby replied as the star swooped out of nowhere and picked him up. "What now?" Yoshi groaned. Kirby then landed next to him creating an explosion sending Yoshi into the lake.

"Sunk like the titanic. Only you didn't sink with some crap love story on top of you." Kirby said turning towards Palkia. "Now for you.." He sneered before a fireball struck him knocking him into the sky. he turned to see that Yoshi had grown wings and was flying towards him. So, he raide the sword. "DIE!" He screamed hurling Sword Beam. Yoshi twirled around it and clobbered the puff-ball with his wings knocking the pistol and Galaxia out of his grasp. "You're persistant. Or are you stupid? Both I guess." Kirby sighed. "Look at you. I didn't need a star to come bail be out of jail." "Jail?" "I'm like jail. There's no escaping me, Kirby. You're about to see why." "Can I make popcorn first?" "Sure, AND HERE'S THE HEAT!" Yoshi shouted breathing deadly flames right at Kirby who quickly inhaled them.

Fire Kirby was quickly created. "Nope, just stupid." Kirby said shaking his small head. "Don't insult me!" Yoshi commanded. "I wasn't the one who made that dumbass, irrational, decision. I have every right to insult you." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you! "Fuck you!" "...Buttface..." Yoshi said making Kirby's jaw drop. "You did not just say buttface." "Oh but I did, torchy. What're you going to do about it?" "You'll see." Kirby shot fire as did Yoshi and the two beams collided. "It's the Final Countdown!" Arceus sang. Dialga and Palkia shook their heads. "What?"

'Just a little more.' Kirby thought as his started going foward. Suddenly, a nail hit him right between the eyes. 'Shit' He thought. The fire came back and incinerated him and destroyed his ability as quickly as it had come. "How does it feel to die?" Yoshi asked sneering. "You tell me." Kirby replied taking the nail out and planting it in Yoshi's eye causing the dinosaur to shriek. "Hit him Arceus." Kirby ordered. "Whatever." The god replied launching Judgement at Yoshi knocking him into the ocean where he sank beneath the water. Kirby went to Meta Knight and helped him up. Dedede was now up as well. "Now, there's 1 thing left to do." Dialga said looking at Palkia. "Oh just great." Palkia said shaking his head.


	14. The end

**CH 14: So Much for You're Happy Ending**

Arceus and Dialga approached the fallen dragon. "You're going to be punished for your insolence." Arceus informed. "I stopped caring a long time ago." Palkia replied. "Suck mine!" The god said as an energy veil surrounded them. Kirby looked at this and back at the pistol. The puff-ball picked it up and shot it at Arceus dealing a sharp blow to his head. "Kirby, what're you doing?" Meta Knight asked making the puff-ball laugh. "I think I deserve a reward for helping you idiots." "What could we have that you would want?" Dialga asked curiously.

"Give me the damn Lustrious Orb." Kirby replied pointing at Palkia. When he said this, Arceus' eyes widened. "I figured it out. Palkia and Dialga don't actually control time and space. Those orbs do! Give me the damn Lustrious Orb!" "How did you figure that out?" Arceus asked stomping his hoof on the ground. Kirby laughed at the question. "It was kind of simple actually. I pay attention to every detail presented to me. When we first met, Palkia was injured as he is now. His injury caused my world to switch ratings with the Call of Duty universe. He even said it wouldn't be a problem once he recovered. Next, I noticed that every space related attack the Palkia does causes the orbs on his shoulders to light up. Not very hard to figure out."

Arceus looked at Kirby and turned his head sideways. "You know far too much. You'll have to be killed." Dialga said as his own Adament Orb lit up. The time deity let loose the Roar of Time which Kirby's Warp star blocked. Arceus shot a hyper beam knocking him off the Warp Star. "Help me!" Kirby ordered Meta Knight and Dedede. "Oh no. You got yourself into this. I'm not bailing you out." Meta Knight replied. "Meta Kight, should I help Kirby?" "Yes." "Then screw you Kirby! HA!" "Asshole..." "I know. Aren't I just the worst?"

"Now what, Kirby?" Dialga asked as he and Arceus flew around the puff-ball as he stood up. Kirby quickly spat out a grenade and reinhaled it. He immediatly transformed into Bomb Kirby. "WHAT?" Arceus shouted clearly pissed off. "How did he have that grenade in him the whole time but when he inhaled it again he got the copy ability. Oh kirbybringsdemise66, you can suck my cock!" Dialga shouted. "I'm the main character, Dialga. I have the power to defy logic." Kirby informed chucking a Super Bomb which he stole from Bomberman a while back. The massive bomb exploded Dialga taking him out of the sky.

Arceus gave Kirby a glare. "I didn't want to do this but oh well." The god prepared Judgement and fired it and the massive attack came down upon Kirby who dodged each one. "WHAT?" The god shouted. "I know the dance, Arceus." "IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN YOU KNOW THE DDR DANCE FOR CARTOON HEROES, THE SPEEDY VERSION, BY HEART?" Kirby laughed evilly. "I'm afraid that attack is useless." Arceus glared at Kirby evilly and fired another Judgement at Kirby.

"We are the cartoon heroes, WHOA, We are the ones who gonna last forever. We came out of a crazy mind. WHOA! and walked out on a piece of paper!" Kirby sang as he dodged the attack again. "Impossible... How do you, a brutal killer, know about that?" "When you need to torture your victims, you look to the truely evil..." "You sick bastard." "I get that alot. Kirby tossed a super bomb at Arceus whoe blasted right through it with a hyper beam which hit Kirby making him lose the copy ability.

"Your pitiful stupidity has gone on long enough, douchebag!" Arceus shouted. Kirby spat out another grenade. "Oh Arceus. We're just getting started." He said inhaling it. This time, no hat came upon him. "Oh FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK YOUR MOTHER! FUCK!" Meta Knight screamed as he picked up Dedede and spread his wings flying off. "Um, what ability to you have?" Arceus asked. "...CRASH..." Kirby sneered. "I'M GOING TO JUDGEMENT THIS WRITER SO HARD! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW HARD THE CRITIC 3 IS GOING TO BE ON THIS CHAPTER?!" "Fuck the Critic 3." Kirby replied creating a massive explosion. It hit Arceus, Dialga, and Palkia blasting the 3 of them to the edge of the island.

"I'm the winner. Now to take my prize." Kirby came to Palkia and forcefully ripped the Lustrious orb out of his shoulder. "Now, let's send you to a prison of eternal darkness." Kirby sneered opening a portal which sucked the three into it. Meta Knight and Dedede then returned to the island. "What're you going to do with that?" Meta Knight asked. "Fuse every universe...together." "Why the hell would you want to do that?" Dedede asked. "To make the scale of victims more...plentiful."

"That's sick!" Meta Knight yelled. "You know what's sick. How everyone takes everything and everyone they have in life for granted. Brothers and sisters fight. Husband and wife fight. Mother and son fight. Friends fight. Nations fight. Nobody loves anything anymore. The phrase, "I love you", is said so often it loses all of its meaning. Especially by those who don't really feel it when they say it. I'll end it. I'll end all of it. I'll see to it people cherish what they have. Because, what they have will be dead. They'll see how much their sister meant to them when she lies butchered at their feet. The whole world will suffer what I have suffered. Everyone will realize that somebody matters to them But, they'll figure it out too late. As when they do, that person will be dead. Tiff was unjustly taken from me, so I'll see to it that everyone knows exactly what it feels like to lose someone they love. Now begins an era. an era of slaughter. The era of realization. This is the era of Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede..."

To be continued...


End file.
